For a little over the last year and and a half I spent time with someone who, over the course of that period, said some pretty mean things to me. Things that irritated the scars of my deepest fears and insecurities. I finally walked away, but some damage had been done before I did.
In an ideal world my confidence would be able to combat those mean words whenever they popped into my mind, but even the best of us can get caught in downward spiral thinking. It is interesting that we tend to remember the bad things people say over the good things we hear, but it seems to be part of our human nature.
Some days the words haunt me and I cannot shake them as being my truth. Yesterday was one of those days. I reached out to a good friend, who suggested that I create a list of all the good things my true friends, the ones who love me, say about me. I thought that this was a great idea and ran with it.
Please note that I do not think one should base their personal truths off what others say, but sometimes when you are caught in a well of negative thinking, your good friends can hold a mirror up with their words to help you through, and make sure you’re living in accordance to the values you hold dear. That is what I did.
I texted a dozen of my good friends, near and far, explaining that I was having negative thoughts and needed help. I asked them to tell me one thing they love about me. The responses I got from all of them brought me close to tears. It was more than I expected and helped me banish the gremlin thoughts throughout the day as each response popped up on my phone.
The best part was that the words showing up did match my values! Which means I am doing something right and the people closest to me see me for who I truly am. Another reminder that one person’s unkind words should not hold a candle to who I am and who I present to the world. I am living my truth.
As one amazing friend said, “You are one of the most authentic people I know and I know you strive to live in your own truth, which means YOU get to decide YOUR OWN truth.” Those words sank deep inside me, as did the many other things my friends told me, and helped keep the negative from building up within me, and will hopefully help when they pop up again.
I thought it would be good to create a journal to document these words for when I get in a negative thought spiral again.
I created a journal last year while visiting friends out of an antique book with the title: Gems of Truth and Beauty, and decided it was the perfect journal to use for this.
I printed out a favorite photo of me with each person I asked, and pasted it to one page. On the corresponding page, I added the words they sent me. My own personal book of Gems of Truth and Beauty to turn to when I need a little help. I am so thankful for the lasting friendships I have, that is one of the many places where gratitude comes in for me.